Jump

My summers as a child involved a trip to Texas to visit my grandparents each year. We would go for a couple of weeks and we loved it. We would go for walks on the golf course with Grandma, we would go to the Texas A&M campus and visit, and we would go to the pool with Grandpa.

The pool we went to had a water slide and two diving boards, a low dive and a high dive. The summer I was seven, if you would have been at the pool slathered in sunscreen, smelling of chlorine and sunshine, you would have seen me climbing the ladder to the high dive. You would have seen me step out onto the board and walk to the end. Then I jumped. And the long, terrible way down, I just couldn't wait for the drop to stop and the water to hit me. 

Then I did it again. And again. I probably jumped off the high dive eight or nine times. And then for the tenth time, I climbed the ladder, stepped out on the platform and froze. I looked down at the crisp, blue water and felt miles up in the air. Even the coaxing of the lifeguard and the yells from the kids waiting on the ladder for their turn could not make my feet push off that board hurtling my body into the space where there was nothing to hold.

I turned around and walked back to the ladder. I never jumped off the high dive again and I've been afraid of heights ever since. 

Overcoming fear is a catalyst for growth. 

During a cookout with our small group, the kids were riding bikes and big wheels down the hill in the back yard. Jacob rode down on a small tractor, he went down on a toy car, and I saw his face as he watched the older kids go down on the bike. He wanted to try the bike and when it was offered to him, he took it. Halfway up the hill, we saw his courage fail him as he walked slower and slower and then tried to pass on the bike to someone else. Instead of taking it back, his buddy encouraged him and so, Jacob got on the bike. All eyes were on him and he was terrified. First a false start, then he squared his shoulders and pushed off. Those seconds down the hill, I know, felt like the same awful drop from the safety of the diving board into the open space. But he did it, he stayed on the whole way down and he did it. 

The entire group erupted into cheers and applause for this moment of achievement. This moment of overcoming a fear that had the power to hold him back had he hesitated but a moment longer. 

I'd give anything to have a video of those moments immediately following his safe landing. He waved his arms, he punched his fist into the palm of the other hand, he was so proud of this moment. And the next time up the hill, he ran to the top. 

Later I asked him if he was scared. "Yes, I was scared in the whole world!" To a boy whose safe world knows very little fear, that's pretty scared. "But you were so brave," we told him and his eyes sparkled and glowed with the pride of his achievement. A whole world opened for him that night, a world of facing and conquering fear. 

Those moments of facing fears, of following through, of overcoming your doubts, they grow you. But you can never find that out until you take the plunge. 

Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

Is. 41:10