A Makeup Tutorial

Tony informed me recently that I am high-strung.  It was news to me. Not being exactly sure what he meant (and he wasn't trying to be mean, just so you know), I looked up the definition of high strung and it is "very nervous or easily upset." Interesting.

Well, if that's the definition, then Kaylen fits the bill too. And I'll betcha, that's why we have "issues". It's a I say potato you say potata kind of thing around here. 

In my spare time the past few evenings, I've been looking at makeup tutorials. I decided I wanted to look more polished. I was especially intrigued by the idea of highlighting and contouring and I've been practicing. I even put on makeup to go running at the park yesterday.

This past year of potty training Kaylen has been especially trying for me. With Jacob, in two days he was trained and we never had another conversation about it and he has rarely had an accident since he was two and a half. Kaylen, on the other hand, has accidents all the time even though she has been potty trained since January. She insists on a daily basis that she needs help, when I know for a fact she does not. Nothing infuriates me more than when she runs around and jumps up and down and screams about needing to go potty only to pee all over herself while standing directly in front of the toilet. Talk about high strung, this is where I get high strung. 

And this is where I was this morning when Kaylen stood there dripping while I raged and stormed and stomped. I was ugly. I was. And no amount of makeup tutorials can fix that. Neither blush, nor eyeliner, nor concealer can hide the fact that high strung is just a nicer way of saying "out of control". 

I stood in the mirror this morning and applied blush to the apple of my cheeks just like the tutorial said and all the while I felt so ugly. Perhaps a tutorial on the fruits of the spirit would be a better use of my time. Perhaps if I had spent more time putting on the inner makeup, the outer me wouldn't have needed to draw my children around me to offer an apology for my behavior. 

The fact of the matter is this, all the makeup in the world can't hide ugly.  If I want to be truly beautiful, then I need to put on the things that truly are: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. This is the real beauty that lasts and more importantly, the kind of beauty that matters.