Also the moving of some dear friends, playgroup friends, confidants, relationships that flowed in an effortless stream of happy times together has left me with loose ends too. Friends who fit into your life as naturally as sisters are rare and special people, and when they leave, it's not a simple fix. A stay at home mom whose weekly adventures include a trip to the grocery store and carpool on Fridays doesn't exactly have lines of people waiting to be the next best friend.
Tony and I have had this conversation several times now- he's probably ready to pay someone to befriend me at this point- and although I appreciate his listening ear, I have never liked his answer. Our conversation always ends with his insistence that if I want friends, I'm the one who has to make it happen.
This morning in church I was so challenged by a point that the pastor brought out. How Jesus, who was agonizing over His impending death and separation from His Father, had gone to the Mount of Olives to pray. He was so overwrought, asking His Father to take the bitter cup of suffering from Him that He sweat drops of blood. The sins of the world a heavy burden, but the wrath of God even worse. He was in a terrible place and maybe He felt invisible, maybe He felt alone, maybe He was lonely. But, the Bible tells us in Luke 22:43 that an angel came to Him and strengthened Him. Shortly after this He was betrayed by Judas.
Now, I'm no angel, but I know people who are at their own Mount of Olives, pouring our their sorrow to the Father, begging for the Lord to take this cup, this suffering, from them. And maybe, this is where little ol' invisible me can be the hands and feet of Jesus and bring some comfort and strength to my friends. Maybe this is where lonely me, realizes that God used an action verb to instruct us on friendship - a man who has friends must himself be friendly. Maybe this is where I begin to realize that it's not that I'm invisible, it's that I'm just not there. And shame on me.
It's easy to feel isolated in my home, insulated from harsh realities, to believe that I'm lonely because my friends are gone. But the truth is, I'm lonely because I've stopped being a friend. And they are only an action verb away.
Tony and I have had this conversation several times now- he's probably ready to pay someone to befriend me at this point- and although I appreciate his listening ear, I have never liked his answer. Our conversation always ends with his insistence that if I want friends, I'm the one who has to make it happen.
This morning in church I was so challenged by a point that the pastor brought out. How Jesus, who was agonizing over His impending death and separation from His Father, had gone to the Mount of Olives to pray. He was so overwrought, asking His Father to take the bitter cup of suffering from Him that He sweat drops of blood. The sins of the world a heavy burden, but the wrath of God even worse. He was in a terrible place and maybe He felt invisible, maybe He felt alone, maybe He was lonely. But, the Bible tells us in Luke 22:43 that an angel came to Him and strengthened Him. Shortly after this He was betrayed by Judas.
Now, I'm no angel, but I know people who are at their own Mount of Olives, pouring our their sorrow to the Father, begging for the Lord to take this cup, this suffering, from them. And maybe, this is where little ol' invisible me can be the hands and feet of Jesus and bring some comfort and strength to my friends. Maybe this is where lonely me, realizes that God used an action verb to instruct us on friendship - a man who has friends must himself be friendly. Maybe this is where I begin to realize that it's not that I'm invisible, it's that I'm just not there. And shame on me.
It's easy to feel isolated in my home, insulated from harsh realities, to believe that I'm lonely because my friends are gone. But the truth is, I'm lonely because I've stopped being a friend. And they are only an action verb away.
Jenny I have been lonely. It stinks.
ReplyDeleteBut just this year I have become close to 2 friends and there's a simple thing we do that bonds us tight.
When we are in Snellville running errands to Target, Old Navy, WalMart, etc., we text the others saying where we'll be "are y'all around??"
And of course one or all 3 of us are in the area, planning to be, or need to be.
As a result we usually see one another many times a week.
Some weeks we miss it completely. But it's so nice to know you are wanting to be seen, ya know?
In the aisle of Target, we see each others faces, hug on one anothers kids, and some days, share a heaviness on our hearts, right there in the shoe aisle.
The 3 of us like to walk, so each time one of us goes, we text...
So I want to encourage you to try this next time you load up your babes and head to Target. Text a friend you'd love to hang out with. More than likely, she has a return that's been in her car for 2 months!
And for whatever reason, this way of living life together is so much easier than trying to get something on the calendar. That just seems to never work for some crazy reason.
Love,
Lisa