I'll Have a Number 1 with Cheese. And a Diet Coke.

It all started when I went to American Eagle to try on some jeans and I came face to face with the realization how not 18 I am. While Loft and Gap and other similar places still stroke my ego by making their size 6 a size 10 at any other store, AE was real. I tried on their jeans, bought some actually, but left with my sense of confidence shaken. The mirror does not lie and neither do pant sizes.

And thus began an absorption with me. Does this look tight? Do my love handles show? Are these really my legs? Bummer. 

The thing is, self absorption is vanity whether you like what you see or hate it.  And vanity, is such a waste of time. 

The days that I spend worrying about how I look are the days that I fail to see how little looks matter. How the love that wells up from my children isn't based on if I look fat in my new jeans. How the bond my husband and I share supersedes the expansion of a waist line. 

In fact, the less I think of myself, the happier I am. Those days I wake up feeling less than a beauty queen, (which lets face it, is most days) are the days that I have to stand in front of the mirror and whisper, "God, help me to decrease so that You can increase." And a wonderful thing happens, I find my sense of security less in the mirror and more in the loving embrace of the Holy Spirit who keeps my heart and mind on Him.