Rise to the Occasion

My mom planned my wedding. I gave her the broad picture and she filled in all the gaps. While I was finishing up my dregree, she was home building a file folder of ideas (which is still in a drawer in her kitchen) and making my vision a reality. It was a simple, beautiful wedding. Everything I wanted. My mom totally rose to the occasion.
It's easy to put your best foot forward when it's for something you love, or for something you enjoy. It's easy to rise to the occasion for a wedding, birthday party, baby shower or some other similar fun event. But when life brings you the difficult times, the times you'd rather lay in bed with your covers over your head, that it makes doing anything much less rising a lot harder.

Friday morning my grandfather had a mild stroke. The first real health problem he has encountered in over 95 years. He is pretty remarkable. Of course, his body is very frail and weak, partly from age and partly because of this recent issue, but his mind is still sharp and alert. As most men his age, he served his country during World War 2. After the war he served as a military governor in Panama. He is a man used to giving orders, not taking them. With his recent stroke and weakened condition, his fiercely defended independence is pretty much over. My grandmother, although younger by several years, is not able to care for him as his needs will now require and my mom can't do it either. Both the emotional and physical demands make it impossible. Thus begins the difficult, heartbreaking part of finding a nursing home for Grandpa.

Over the past few years my grandparents have been living with my parents, I've watched my mom cook and clean for Gramps and Grams, take them to an endless stream of doctor visits, wait hour upon hour in doctor's waiting rooms. She has made the foods Grandpa likes best, made sure that Grandma has lots of stamps and paper for her letter writing, and keeps the house stocked with snacks and treats that Grandpa likes to nibble. She never complains, she never gets frustrated, she never gets upset about giving up her free time, her house, her other interests to care for her parents.

In these next few weeks I know it will be another opportunity for my mom to rise to the occasion. The occasion will bring tears, but not happy ones. The occasion will require a file and lots of planning, but not for a highly anticipated walk down the aisle.  Not for the start of a new life, rather the slow end to another.

These are the times where my parents have impressed me the most. The hard times that require the most thoughtfulness, patience, love, and endurance. My dad did it, now it's my mom's turn.

If I can grow up (I know I'm 30 and technically grown, but I still feel like I'm 18) to be half the woman that my mom is, I will be happy. If I can show my kids the same kind of enduring love that my mom has, then I will be happy. If I can serve my husband, put him first above everything else, then I will be happy. If I can do for others without thought for myself, giving and giving and giving some more then I will be happy.

As you rise to this new occasion, I want to be the first to rise too, and to tell my mom that you are blessed. Many daughters have done virtuously, but you excel them all.

Proverbs 31:10-31

¹⁰ Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

¹¹ The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

¹² She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

¹³ She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

¹⁴ She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

¹⁵ She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

¹⁶ She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

¹⁷ She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

¹⁸ She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

¹⁹ She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

²⁰ She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

²¹ She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

²² She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

²³ Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

²⁴ She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

²⁵ Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

²⁶ She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

²⁷ She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

²⁸ Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

²⁹ Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

³⁰ Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

³¹ Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.