The Heart of the Matter

Much like the rhythmic beating of a heart, our life is beginning to settle into a rhythm of it's own. Thank goodness. For a while there it was all a terrible case of heart murmurs, skipping a beat and heartburn! We did have a little arrhythmia when we traveled by plane to New York with three kids ages three and under this past Memorial Day weekend. We had bags galore, a very sick little boy, the always brilliant TSA and airport security, and numerous other stresses sending us running for blood pressure meds stat. But we survived. Barely.

The thing is, about two weeks ago when I wrote my last entry, I didn't realize I had hit upon a little nugget of mothering gold. The more I ruminated on this post, the more I realized I had to implement this philosophy into my mothering. I had to stop viewing my job as taking care of my kids and internalize that I am serving the Lord every day, all day whether I am making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or wiping a bottom.

It doesn't come naturally to put aside my wants and wishes to care for other people. I'm quite selfish as a matter of fact. I've found over the years that having children hasn't made me more selfless, it's only highlighted that ugly little flaw and amplified it. For example, when we eat grapes, I give the mushy ones to the kids and keep the crunchy ones to myself. Or, worse yet, sit and scroll through facebook updates rather than read the book my sweet girl has brought me with a hopeful look in her eyes. Nope, I'm selfish to the core.

The good news is I have Someone who is bigger and purer, and better than me who has offered to help me, to heal me, to walk me through this life. Two weeks ago I started every day by asking God to help me to treat my children as if I am serving a King, to view my job as a mission not a mandate, to strive to make my life a fragrant offering to my Savior. A remarkable thing happened. I found myself loving my children deeper, controlling my temper, finding new interest in the things that make them happy, a renewed desire to nurture these little hearts and minds. Even more remarkable was how the change in my attitude affected my kids's attitudes. They were kinder to each other, more tolerant of the tiny baby who has rocked their world, more responsive to correction and blossoming and budding every day as happy, joyful, secure children should be.

My new little philosophy on mothering gets even better because I feel confident it can transcend the confines of motherhood and apply to every person in every walk of life- businessmen, doctors, lawyers, indian chiefs. All can find satisfaction and joy in what they do when they reset their mindset on serving God and serving others with His help. The heart of the problem is a problem of the heart.

Now, don't get me wrong, not even a saint can always feel warm and fuzzy toward their kids. My darling Jacob  told me at Memorial Day lunch with my family- in front of everyone- that I needed to apologize to him for screaming at him. I cringed at his choice of words...and timing. Hey, it happens. I told him I was sorry he disobeyed and I had to raise my voice. How's that for an apology?

No, we can't and won't get it right all the time. There will always be days when we are enveloped in a gray fog, or when the kids are out of sorts, or when everything seems to be going wrong, or plans get changed, or things get spilled or broken. We will fall and fail and react in ways we regret. We will lose our way, forget our resolve, feel low and dreary and worn. But we can always ask for help, and the One who holds our hearts will always reset the rhythm with a heartbeat for Him.

John 14:13

Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.