I Saw a Sign

You know how you can sense that things are out of order without really looking at them? I had that feeling when I walked out on my back deck last Friday afternoon. I was on my way to give my chickens some food and from the corner of my eye I saw the kid's playset. Something was off, and it took me a minute to realize it had to do with the railing on the side of the set.

I walked closer and took a good long look. And when I saw it, I saw stars. Jacob had, in two clean cuts, sawed off the side railing of his play set. You may be asking why does a six year old have a functioning saw? None of yo bidness. 

And this isn't about me anyways. 

I'm not sure, but I think I might have screamed. And a few minutes later there stood a stormy looking father, a shocked mother and a squirming Jacob. While Tony and I stood looking from Jacob to the playset and back to Jacob, he stammered and stuttered out his explanation. It was a supremely awkward moment for him and I must confess, it made me laugh. His explanation, though, completely melted his mother. "Jacob, why did you saw the railing off your playset," (Did I really just ask that?!?) Those beautiful blue eyes, looked bravely back at us- he was truly shaking in his boots- and he said "Because I wanted to be like dad." I instantly became a puddle. 

Of course what followed was an explanation that Daddy doesn't destroy, he builds and he doesn't do it without the proper permission from the proper people. Then we had a serious talk about thinking before you do things. And if he had stopped to think, wouldn't he have realized he should not saw on his playset? And what can we do to help him to stop and think before he does things? 

"Oh," he said, "maybe you could draw me a stop sign on paper and hold it up for me when I need to stop and think." Well. It's an idea. But not very practical. 

Sitting in the mom's small group I am a part of, while two wise ladies shared their wisdom with us as we figuratively sat at their feet and asked them questions, here was mine: how do you deal with kids who wake up seemingly determined to pick and pester each other and steal my joy in the process? And here is where my little paper stop sign was stamped across my forehead. Leaning towards me and in a stage whisper, one lady answered, "You need to relax!" 

STOP.

In a flash I saw all the extras that I include in our morning- clean up this, put away that- and realized that she is right. Relax. Have your breakfast with your kids. Look them in the eye and talk to them. Have this moment and savor it while you can. Disarm their behavior by being in the middle of their morning rather than directing from a distance. 

Maybe Jacob isn't the only one who needs to stop and think before he does things. And maybe the one who really needs the paper stop sign is me. 

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Note: In case you are worried about the railing situation on our playset, don't be. Jacob has nailed a board across the poor railing and will somehow find a way to "retach" it back on the set. But he "needs to go to Home Depot first". For a box of nails.