Me and My Drum

On our honeymoon, nine years ago, Tony and I started a tradition that we still carefully observe. We purchased a Christmas ornament commemorating our visit to Amelia Island. Over the years, as we have traveled different places, we have added ornaments to our collection. So, as we pull out the ornaments and begin to decorate the tree, we are flooded with sweet remembrances as we recall the happy times each ornament represents.

Thanksgiving 2013 Seagrove Beach, FL

With three eager pairs of hands to decorate this year you can imagine the chaos that ensued. Me frantically running around trying to keep the ornaments from breaking while my kids, blissfully unaware of the

great pains I have taken to wrap and carefully store them, wildly tore off packing, ripped open boxes and dumped, tromped, dashed and generally wreaked havoc. I was exhausted when it was all over. And shaken to my core. 

While my kids are so excited they can barely sleep each night thinking about the magic of Christmas, I feel very still on the inside. Calm, disconnected. Quiet. It's not Him, it's me. 

I know these times are normal, but it's still disappointing to find yourself feeling lost, when you know you aren't. It's a time like this, when I feel I have nothing to give that the song of the Little Drummer boy really resonates with me. He, like me, had nothing to bring the King. But still he came. 

Part of me appreciates this time because it shows me that Jesus is everything. He is the only One who can offer anything. And it truly sets the tone for the glad welcome of the Baby King, who knows this and understands it since He made it to be this way. And who loves me anyway. 

I know that the hollow tone of my drum beat this year will become mellow and warm, rich with the swell of emotion, as my heart will begin to stir in the coming days. I feel it coming and I long for it. I too have nothing to bring the King, but still I come. With nothing to offer but myself, I will come. And He will fill me. Then He will smile on me, me and my drum. 

Always loved this video of the sweet story. Click here to watch.