THAT mom

I'd like to think that the reason I have a scratchy throat at night occasionally, is because pollen is out and about and trying to do it's business. I say trying because if you are pollen, then you likely got washed away in the deluge of the last day or so, or you are too cold to move. But a more likely reason is that I've been yelling at my kids. I cringe even writing that because I don't want to be THAT mom. 

I saw (and heard) THAT mom when I was at chick-fil-a recently with my kids. It was a rainy Saturday and Tony was working and I had to get out of the house, so that's where we went. Jacob and Kaylen played and I stared at Marlee and everyone around me. It's so interesting to people watch. I could do it for hours. 

So, anyways, THAT mom was in the booth next to me. She was working on her laptop, I gather she is some sort of IT person. Behind her were four kids - eightish to twelvish. I have no idea if they were all hers. Anyway, she was working away and they were busy with their milkshakes. Probably not what I'd give to four kids I'm only semi watching with the eyes in the back of my head, but then again I let Jacob have real nails and a hammer when he was two, so who am I to judge. 

As it turns out, the kids who were being pretty well-behaved back there were making an enormous mess by poking holes in their milkshake cups with toothpicks. They also took scads of toothpicks and had them all over the playground. On the floor, down the slide, everywhere. So, when THAT mom realizes the mess, she loudly gets new cups for the kids, loudly berates them for putting toothpicks in their cups, and when she sees the toothpicks in the playground, she only gets louder. But the thing is, although she was only trying to draw attention to her kids bad behavior, she really just drew attention to herself. The things she said, the volume at which she said them, it was frankly, embarrassing. For her, not the kids. I never want to be THAT mom. Ever. 

Beyond that, I despise being yelled at. Even when I'm in the wrong, it makes me feel belittled and embarrassed and certainly on the defensive to have someone raise their voice to me. Knowing that, why do I do it to my kids? Jacob in particular hates it, I can see it all over his face. 

So, today- tonight actually since it's 9:37pm- and because tomorrow is Monday, the perfect day to start a diet or a non-yelling campaign, I challenge myself to stop yelling. To walk away, or sing a song, or say nothing, but to stop being THAT mom. 

Wish me luck. I shall certainly need it.