Some Would Say

Yesterday was Jacob's first ever Christmas program. In the first service he stood there like a mute only opening his mouth to say, "I don't know what to do." In the second service, he stood near one of his buddies. A slapping match ensued, Jacob lost, and then he ran off the stage crying. Some would say, too bad, maybe he'll do better next year. I say, I'm so glad I got to experience that little moment of his life so many parents will never see of their own child.

I'll never forget Kaylen's birth. I was induced because of low fluid, Kaylen was in distress the entire time I was in labor and the epidural never took. The pain was horrible. Some would say, I'm so sorry you had a bad experience. I would say, Praise the Lord my baby was born alive.

This third baby has made me sicker than either Jacob or Kaylen ever even thought about. I didn't vomit, I was just miserably nauseous from the moment I opened my eyes in the morning, until I went to sleep at night. Some would say, It's so hard to be pregnant. I would say, What a blessing that I am able to be sick, if it means I will hold another precious one in only 40 short weeks.

This season of life, the child-bearing years, is a wonderful time. But amidst the sweetness of new babies, I've seen far too much of the suffering of the other side. Those who want babies, but can't have them. Those who have babies that are desperately sick. Those who are pregnant, but will miscarry.

I do not know what my future holds, what pain I will experience at some point. I pray God will spare me. For today, tomorrow, some would say, Watch this tv show, go do this, this is more important. I say, today, I'm holding my babies, just in case I can't tomorrow.