You're not wearing that, are you?

Style has never been my thing. I like clothes and shoes, but I have no ability to really create an outfit. When I go shopping, I try to buy things that will coordinate only to find out when I get home and put the so called outfit together that it doesn't work. I would really like to be stylish, but I'm just not. The urge to dress better always hits when I am pregnant...and buying clothes is impractical or..impossible. Still the urge hits and I browse online, repin outfits I like on Pinterest and wish wish wish I could just look put together.

Style hasn't mattered too much this past month as I have been too exhausted from first-trimester fatigue to care and completely worn to a frazzle by Jacob. This three year old business is no joke. He keeps me busy from sunup to sundown with ridiculous amounts of energy, he gets into anything and everything all the time and his understanding of the word "obey" has reverted back to almost non-existent. All day long I give orders, correct, command, scold, and send to his room and usually by the end, I'm out of patience.
More often than I'd like to admit I'm out of patience long  before....lunch. In fact, the phrase "I'm DONE!" has become quite familiar to us all.

I don't like being this person, this commandant, this supreme ruler who has to constantly pound my rules into my subjects. Even if it's for their own good. I despise even more being short on temper and grace. It's just plain ugly. I'm so glad I can't see me from their eyes. It would hurt. A lot. I've been telling myself I've got to get a grip, to get in control of myself, to at least outwardly act like the godly example I want to be.

Today I realized that what I need to do is to clothe myself in the things the Lord would have me to be towards my children. Not just to read a verse about the fruits of the spirit, but to put them on like a completely coordinated outfit. To wear them, to be immersed in them, to be enveloped in these beautiful things I truly want to be.

It's not about what I'm wearing, it's all about how I'm clothed.

  Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility,

gentleness and patience.

Col 3:12b